What Is Lost

(1996)

 

This pain is too deep

            To form into a structure

            That may be examined

Without folding

From the ache in my

            Soul.

 

Thrown away

Like moldy morsels

            Of rotting bread.

That which sustained

            Now poisoned

            With anger.

Creaking demons

            Take flight,

Landing spoorlike

            To reproduce

Clawing away

The thrumming

Heartbeat song.

 

I protect

What remains of my

Sweet small memories

Wonderful bursts that

            Escape

               Running away

                  Laughing

Into the corners of

            My spirit.

 

From there,

I may take them out

Caressing them lovingly

In quiet moments.

 

I take steps

Through the

Window of Grief

Allowing that I may

Sometimes look back.

But in the darkest times

I see only a reflection

            Of Myself.

The space beside me

Rings with unanswered

            Echoes.

 

I bow to the wishes

            Of anger

            And bitterness

Knowing my loss will

Brand my heart forever.

 

Deepening shadows

Slide silently between

Laughing memories.

I have no power in

These moments

To change what is…

And what is lost.